Seeking peace during adversity

Everyone has faced adversity on some level during their lives. I have had my fair share of them when it comes to my physical wellness, others have had emotional hurdles and some more profound. Though my struggles may not be yours we can not say either is any less difficult. The one thing that people have said to me time over time is that they do not understand how I can go though it and handle it so well. In the past I would politely shut the conversation down with a simple "Thank you" or a sarcastic comment such as "oh I bounce back pretty well". In truth I would love to sit in a corner with you and spill my whole story, explaining how difficult my journey has actually been and how I really was able to pull it all together because of this or that, but I figure most people don't want to hear the gritty truth. Sometimes, I don't even like to reminisce on my struggle. I wonder do I make to light of them or do I exaggerated them when others have so much more of a burden than I do?

I have always been told that God won't give your more than your can carry, and scripture tells us that God can use what is intended for our destruction for good. I believe we all have our unique experiences to not carry alone but to help one another. The problem is that most of us are so self absorbed that we are not listening to others enough to know when to do this. I have been guilty of this myself.

I can tell you that I have been to the bottom of myself , an emotional black hole, and yet was able to resurface not because of my own ability. The Lord has lifted me from places that I could not crawl out of on my own.  I find my peace in the Holy Spirit and through building a relationship with the Lord I have been able to fight for a better version of me than what existed twenty years ago or even last week or yesterday. The struggle is daily but Christ told us that this would be the case in John 16:33 "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” . In fact the Bible is full of the struggles and burdens of individuals. It is also full of wisdom and instruction on how to get through them and honor the Lord in our lives. 

By building a relationship with Christ through study of the written word in the Bible we can bridge our discomfort and adversity to a place of peace. That is when we can honor God and be the example someone else needs. We may not even know when this happens. What is true is that others are watching how we handle ourselves when adversity comes. 

Wrapping up 2014

When I think of the past week and the end of 2014 there is so much on my mind I can hardly contain it. Facebook has a "look at my year:" post going around. I did peek at what it said my year was and I have to say it didn't even cut the surface of what has happened. In reality I  could say this year has been the worse year ever and I'm glad to see it go, it's been full of pain and drama, but that is not entirely true either.

Yes I definitely had some down part of the year but I am full of gratitude for the year I have had.  I had a full year with my family watching my kids grow and how they  light up when they are happy and excited.

My husband and I went through the most trying time in our marriage due to my illness, it was a very emotional time and I truly hope we never have to experience anything close to that again. Though if you ask him he says he always knew I'd be ok in the end. My hubby is my Rock, my Soul Mate, my shoulder to cry on and  my catalyst to pick my self up and prove him wrong sometimes.God couldn't have given me a better man than he is. I love him dearly. 

I know I have said this before but I will say it again, because of what happened with my R.A. this year I found a true living relationship with God. I know that without it I would have been a complete mess. Life is different now, I know my place and purpose and what really matters to me. 

That was my 2014 summed up, full of Thanks for all that I have in my life 

Wednesday Night

I absolutely love the Wednesday Night Bible Study at our church.  I can’t tell you how many times my week has been just sliding in the gutter on Monday and Tuesday, then on Wednesday nights I get some form of Wisdom through our study and it makes all the difference in my attitude and perspective.  When I die I don’t want my tomb stone to read she was stressed out and a good employee.  I want my life to mean so much more.  Most importantly I want my kids to know that I loved them and that I was a great mom to them.  I want my husband to know the good sides of me not the bad.  I want to express more of the good in me.  Sometimes that is hard to find.

 I will admit that when things don’t go my way I can get a nasty and negative attitude.  I have been working for years on the negative.  I remember once as a kid, I was probably ten years old, my parents had a boat and we were out fishing.  I can’t remember the circumstances as to what brought it up but I distinctly remember my dad telling me “Sue you are the most pessimistic person, you need to fix that”  I don’t even know if I knew at the time what that meant, but I remember it clearly.   I have used it almost as a crutch my whole life.  "Oh well I am just pessimistic that is just who I am". 

Now as an adult I am learning that It’s so draining to be negative.  It sure does not make my life more enjoyable,  nor it does it make my family’s life more enjoyable.   The Lord wants us to have Joy and I feel like this has been a work in progress in my life.  Of course as in true nature as soon as you decide to change something for the better you are constantly bombarded with circumstances that are going to test you  and try to break you.  That is just how the Devil works.  Over the last couple of years ( I can’t believe it has even been that long) I have been tested, I have been provoked, and I have failed more than I care to admit.  I am trying, I am trying to enjoy my life more and the people around me.  It is difficult not to get wrapped up in the negative and as my Pastor put last night " we accumulate junk...and we need pruning". As the saying goes Misery loves company.   So back to my clarity from last night’s Bible Study.  We are Studying the Book of John chapter 15 The Vine and the Branches.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 

As we were in conversation about what this passage means, I had a revelation that all the things I fight, the things that I am challenged by daily are all a part of my pruning processes.  Our pastor asked us last night if this passage would change how we react to those circumstances.  Would we be more compliant with the lessons learned and applying the biblical principals?  You may know the saying “WWJD?”  What would Jesus Do?    I have really never thought of it that way.  I have come as far as to tell myself that this is coming at me because I am trying to change, but sometimes I slip back into my old routine.  More so recently and I know it is a part of me that I need to continue to work on.  So to answer the question, YES.  Since I know that pruning is a part of the process to build my character to be more like that of Christ  then I don’t necessarily want more trouble to come my way but I will stop, remember this passage, dig deep and ask myself  WWJD?  Then try to respond appropriately because I know on the other end I will be better for it.